What Does It All Mean?

Why did I escape death and severe disability so many times in this health episode?
For what purpose?

"Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers that cannot be given you, because you would not be able to live with them, and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
Rainer Maria Rilke